OH and the doubt. So much doubt around my own abilities. And even after I divorced and got in began picking up my deck again, I still didn’t take it seriously. I still felt shame for being a witch and still questioned whether or not I really was special or had any gifts.
It wasn’t until my 40th birthday trip to Costa Rica when I ended up in an alcoholic shitshow of a rock bottom stupor that things started to change. After one of the most horrifically shameful events I’ve ever been through in my entire life, I found myself crying at a table full of strangers in AA. And it was through the help of AA, I got back in touch with my spiritual side and discovered that my witchy, spiritual ways were part of my road to recovery. And while in the program (which, in my opinion, is its own form of witchy shadow work) I decided that I would turn to Tarot and reading for others as a way to stay sober.
This was uncomfortable for me. So uncomfortable. Finally embracing who I really was and not pretending to be what everyone else wanted me to be. Slowly I began to see people show up for me. One person after another crossed my path and my heart, spirit and soul began to swell with so much happiness and self-love for just showing up as my own damn self.