Now we move from the root chakra into the sacral chakra we start to go beyond our basic human needs. Now we start to address our need for companionship and creativity. It is in this chakra that we start to form relationships with other people outside of our immediate familial relationship. As we start to explore relationships with other people, we are also exploring our own relationship with the world. And I believe it’s that relationship with the world as to which creativity starts to flourish. So the sacral chakra has a huge focus on relationships.
And if you can imagine this, as we begin to explore these new relationships there is the possibility for overextending ourselves. When it comes to establishing close intimate relationships with other people we may do things that put our root chakra off-balance. We may find that some of these clothes intimate relationships trigger fear. And all though we learned that we need to face fear, if one of these relationships does it repeatedly…or if one of these relationships does it maliciously, we may find that we all of a sudden become flooded with feelings of shame or guilt.
Creativity Has Boundaries
When it comes to creativity and our own relationship with the world, we have the potential to find ourselves in dangerous situations. We have the potential to find ourselves in situations that maybe overextending our time and energy. For example, if one of our creative outlets is tight rope walking we may start at first just a foot or two off the ground. And if we want to raise the height, we need to look at other things that are going to help ensure our safety. Just as we create those safety measures in creative situations it is important that we create the safety measures in our personal relationship – better known as boundaries.
I think it’s easier for us to understand what boundaries need to be in place when we’re talking about creative outlets. Just like the tightrope walking example I gave, if your creative outlet happens to be with pen and paper, you may time-bound yourself to spend energy writing. If your creative outlet happens to be walking out onto a stage as a public speaker, one of your boundaries maybe to save questions till the end. We often know what is at stake with creative outlets and what is at risk when we do not have the safety measures in place through our creative outlets. We may put our life at risk, we may put wasting time at risk and frankly we may just want to make sure we stay on topic!
Shame and Guilt
But creating boundaries within our personal relationships, that can be much more difficult. This to me, is where the feelings of shame and guilt tend to pop up. A my belief is that when we are setting a boundary the majority of the time one of those two feelings are going to surface. In once they do that means that the boundary is good, salad and is exactly what you need. I wish I could say that that feeling just goes away overnight. Like once you set the boundary, poof, everything falls into place. Unfortunately that’s not the case.
So it is really important that you remember to just keep choosing to push through that emotion. Just like you push through that emotion of fear within the root chakra, you have the ability to choose push to push through the emotions of Shame and guilt. Now in case you’re not positive where you should be setting some boundaries, let’s take a look at some areas that I believe may help
Creating Boundaries
- With Your Time. time is the one thing in this world that we cannot make more of. At least not right now, maybe they’ll invent time travel but until that happens we can’t make more time. So are people respecting your time? If you’re a planner do people respect that and give you a heads up? do you find that people are constantly late? Or do you have individuals that cancel on you on a frequent basis?
- With Your Emotions. you are able to feel however the fuck you want to feel about anything. Emotions are not to be determined by anybody else. There is no right or wrong emotion. They are purely temporary responses to a situation and, you can even change your emotion about a situation over time. No one gets to choose that but you. So are you allowing other people to tell you how you should feel? Are there people in your life that are shaming or guilting you for feeling or responding emotionally a certain way?
- With Your Morals. No one is supposed to set what you believe is being right or wrong but you. this means if you’re a vegetarian and you don’t like people to talk about the slaughter of animals around you, you can choose to say that. Or if you don’t like the use of swear words around you, you can choose to let people know. So are you clear of what your morals are and what you are willing to have around you? Are there people that you’ve mentioned these things to that constantly violate them?
- With Your Body. this one seems pretty self-explanatory. when it comes to setting boundaries about sexual interaction I think most people know when those lines are being crossed. It is literally a crime to force yourself sexually on someone. But you also have the ability to set boundaries around whether or not you want a hug, Shake someone’s hand, Even have somebody use something of yours personally, like a toothbrush. so do the people around you respect your body? Do they make you feel uncomfortable when they do certain things? Have you told them or ask them to stop and they refused?
I don’t know if you’ve noticed at this point, but the boundaries stated above may not be well liked by other people but it is ALWAYS your place to ask for them to be respected. This is exactly where the feelings of shame and guilt tend to come in. And at the end of the day you should never allow somebody to cross your boundary because you feel shame or guilt for having it. When that happens I want you to know you always have the choice to limit your time and interaction with that individual.
So how would you say you are with your boundaries? Do you have strong boundaries or are you suffering from the shame and guilt that so many of us feel when we try to have them respected? Let us know below!