“NoOooooo! I don’t wanna do it. Don’t make me do it. Please no, I’m so horrified. I absolutely am going to die if you make me say that. I will turn completely beet red. I may have a friggin panic attack.”
This is exactly what I used to hear in my head when I first started to do work on my throat chakra. I realized that I was absolutely falling trap to all five of those signs that I mentioned before. I was allowing my boundaries to be crossed, I was always apologizing, I was telling little white lies to myself, keeping my mouth shut and when shit blew up…well, I spent what felt like hours (and sometimes days) trying to justify my actions.
But it was hard to start speaking my truth. You may even say it was one of the more difficult things I had to do on this journey. That is until I realized why it was so hard to speak my truth. And that is because very often, when I spoke my truth, the response that I would receive would trigger feelings of guilt, shame or sometimes downright fear.
I wasn’t happy like that. I was rocking some low vibrational energy and swimming in cesspools of bitterness. It made me miserable, even if folks on the outside couldn’t see it.
Looking back at that, here is how I managed to overcome that horror and begin stepping into my own true identity…
- I looked at which folks’ responses invoked which feelings. Those individuals that invoked fear in me, well, they were scary. I started to realize that I saw these folks as scary because they WERE. They were a danger to my own energy and toxic.
- Stepped away from the toxic folks. For some individuals, this meant completely removing myself from their lives, and for some other individuals it meant really limiting my interaction.
- Understood that I am fucking important. Me as a person. My feelings, my emotions, my needs, my desires. All of these things are important and I am the only person that can determine what these things mean for me. Everyone else’s thoughts, although interesting, are irrelevant.
- Created a ritual to transmute guilt and shame. I figured as a human, there may always be a possibility that I experience moments of guilt and shame. Instead of ignoring that, I regularly reflect upon it and then picture those emotions as energy traveling into the sun to change into love, passion and creativity.
- Last, I practice speaking my truth. Whenever I’m presented with a chance to speak my truth, be myself and share my identity. I do it. This includes a helluva lot of conversations with myself to define what it is that I want and what energetically feels high vibrational to me.
Viola. Preso, chang-o, right? I wish. Choosing to overcome the horror of speaking your truth is not easy like Sunday morning my friends. I have spent a lot of time focused on this and still keep practicing speaking my truth every single day.
Like, I’d really love it if you’d drop a reply and let me know how hard it is for you and how I can possibly help.