The Sober Witch Life: Sunshine’s Guide to a Mystical Recovery Podcast Season 2 Episode 19 Making Amends with Magick

Blink, blink, blink, blink. Hey everyone. It is Sunshine. Welcome back to the Sober Witch Life. Sunshine’s Guide to a Mystical Recovery. Maybe I should change it to magical. I don’t know. Who knows, right? Who knows? You know, always kind of shifting, changing, and growing. But welcome back. We have been talking for the last number of weeks about all of the different steps in The Witch’s 13 steps to recovery. And so we’re going to continue that. Last week, I fast-forwarded all the way to Step 13 because it was so we like literally just done it and walked out of that. So this week, we are rewinding ourselves back and picking up where we had left off, which was with Step Nine. And so we’re going to be talking a little bit about step nine. 

As always, I want to make sure that I’m starting with some story time here. And you know, I really, I kind of had a hard time with this one when I was thinking about and taking some of the notes down about what I wanted to share and talk about with you guys. Let me just make sure, for some other reason, sometimes my mic is weird, so let me make sure that’s picking up the right microphone. Cool. It is. So in the last step, Step eight, I should say, not the last week, but the step eight, the one that comes before this, you would have been encouraged to make a list of persons, places, or things that you have crossed or done wrong to. Created some, you know, for some people, some type of karmic debt, and if you’re anything like me, and I think a lot of folks, you’re going to realize that on there, there’s going to be some shitty things that you realize that you’ve done. You look back and you’re like, oh, shit! Fuck, I was not a pleasant, lovely, wonderful person all the time. But once again, if you’re also like me, you may have already apologized. 

So I remember going back through and doing that kind of like inventory, and making that list of persons, places and things, and realizing so many of these folks I had already had conversations with. Relatively quick. Soon after it happened, it was a habit I created a long time ago, even before I’ve been so deep or heavy into my addiction. And then you may also have realized, which was something that I think I mentioned during the conversation we talked about Step eight, that you may also have realized that you betrayed yourself a lot. And you know, that was a lot of what I realized that I’d betrayed myself. I had deprioritized myself. I put myself last or second to last, maybe just to not be last, that kind of stuff. 

The reason why it was so hard for me to sit and talk about this, and even when I got to writing this step, I really hesitated, because there are a lot of folks within the traditional AA programming that speak very highly of the potency of this particular step. And I look back and I think about once again, the traditional 12 step programs were created from a masculine perspective. They were created by men. And the gruffness of that toxic or unhealthy masculine energy creates a lot of, I think, more room for what I would say is a healthy apology. And so a lot of people speak very highly of this particular step and encourage you to continue to do it. And I remember talking with folks at the tables. Originally, I remember talking to my sponsors, I remember even talking to some women about this and, even my therapist about how hard this step was for me because a lot of the times and the scenes or the scenarios that I had not engaged my habit of apologizing already, were really traumatic experiences for me. And so the commentary that comes back is that you. 

To do this in person or to the person, so to speak, as long as it’s not going to inflict pain or suffering, cause hurt or harm again. And I think about this often. I think about often how an apology or an amend is for the individual on this side, but yet, the traditional program will talk about the healing that comes they like, overemphasize very much the healing that comes when both parties are able to like, when the one says, I’m sorry and the other one is able to forgive. And what does this,  I think these are all best-case scenarios, right? We’re thinking about maybe a father that was always late to pick their kid up from baseball practice, or football or cheerleading or something of that nature, because they were always, just always running late. And it was because they were always, like nursing a hangover, so to speak, and just life was slower, and so they apologized for that. And I can see and accept and understand that, but the hard place that I have with this is, even in this particular example, you don’t always know and understand what you may be bringing up for the other person, what layers or complexities, right? 

And so especially for me, as a witch, as somebody that has really strong psychic abilities, I could feel the tenderness in situations, either within myself or within the others. And so there were some really hard times. I had a really, really hard time with this, because I could feel, see, witness and experience the reopening of a lot of wounds, or the anguish or the suffering of like going through and making amends, and what that would do. And so I sat really hard and long when I wrote this one, and I do believe in the releasing of the shame and the guilt. I believe that that is a really, really, really big part. But I don’t think that making these amends in person is the only potential way. So I’ll say the step that we are written within the 13 steps for the witch in recovery, is to do spell work. You can go ahead and make any apologies or amends that you want to do in person. I will trust that you’re going to know and understand when that feels right for you and the other individual, and you’ll feel energetically, you’ll feel how it that’s like the appropriate place. And even now today, when I do something that I raise my voice or set off, or whatever, I’m quick to still apologize.

So step nine is I’ve made amends through intentional spell work conducted on behalf of the person, place or thing. So, in other words, we’re using the power of magic and the spell, and of ritual or however you conduct your magic, all that magical working in order to make those amends, I knew there had to be another way. I just, you know, I looked back, you know, and I’ll share from a very personal perspective, I looked back, and I started to realize so many of those amends that I would need to have made in like from childhood, touched way too close to so much of my own personal trauma. Yeah, I needed another way. I needed another way. I did not want to re-traumatize myself, retrigger myself, you know, or continue to hold on to the shame and the guilt when I knew energetically within my self that there were certain things that I could not I couldn’t do, you know, and I don’t believe that life is meant to take us through pain and suffering. I actually believe that we’re meant to, like, be outside of that. 

Step nine is about doing intentional spell work to make amends. So why am I sharing all of this with you? Ah, you know, it’s part of the the 13 steps. But this could be one of the places that you fucked up before, like if you were on this path or venturing down this path for the second, third, fourth, fifth, however, many times it is right. Maybe it’s even your first time. Like this one could have frightened you if you went down the 12 step traditionals, 12. Program, right? This is one that you may have fucked up with before. This may be the one that appeared to be too hard and you said, I’m not going to go down that path. Because the reality is, this may have been one that started to invoke deeply rooted trauma in you. The reality is, traumatized individuals are not always going to be capable of personal amends without re traumatizing themselves. If you did a lot of the actions that you did, not just because of the addiction, but also because of all of the trauma, you were trying to keep yourself safe, it’s not always going to be easy, so there had to be another way. 

This is why I’m sharing it with you. It’s because if you’ve already effed up because of this particular step, or you’ve avoided staying on the road of recovery because of this step, there’s another way, my dear friends, and my guess is you want a better way. You want to stay in recovery. You want that beautiful life, you want the promises that have been made to you. And you want to continue to work this path. And the way that you’re going to do this as a witch is to do intentional spell work, and that spell work can be in whatever way, shape or form that you so desire. I do a lot of mine through prayer and intention. I set a lot of beautiful intentions. I said a lot of prayers for people I you know, still to this day, you know, pray for folks that are suffering, which now reminds me that I did not do some of my stretches this morning. A lot of times will say some of my prayers while I stretch. And I didn’t do that this morning, so I’ll do it later tonight. But you want a better way, and this particular step nine is going to be introducing this better way. It’s going to give you a different option. It’s going to give you a way to release that shame and guilt that you may be still feeling and experiencing without going down the path of re traumatizing yourself or instilling more shame and more guilt. 

So you might be asking yourself, what are a couple of different ways? Like I said, the prayers and the intentions you can do spell jars are really beautiful. Healing spells are really beautiful. Spells for prosperity, for health, for abundance. For the other individuals, you can have conversations between yourself and you know their higher self, asking for that forgiveness, saying that you’re sorry. The reality is the human experience is not always willing, ready to accept an apology or an amend. There are other ways, or absolutely other ways. I believe even some of what I’ve listed before and talk to people is making donations in their name, on their behalf, which can be a way of sharing something of theirs that’s important. There are ways to make amends and to release that guilt and shame beyond just a literal person to person, apology or an amend. Because reality is that it can be difficult. 

👉𝐶ℎ𝑒𝑐𝑘 𝑜𝑢𝑡 𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑤𝑒𝑏𝑠𝑖𝑡𝑒𝑠 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑙𝑒𝑡 𝑆𝑢𝑛𝑠ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑒 𝑔𝑢𝑖𝑑𝑒 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑡ℎ𝑟𝑜𝑢𝑔ℎ 𝑟𝑒𝑐𝑜𝑣𝑒𝑟𝑦!

🤙🏻𝐒𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐝𝐮𝐥𝐞 𝐚 𝐅𝐑𝐄𝐄 𝐒𝐨𝐛𝐞𝐫 𝐂𝐮𝐫𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬 𝐂𝐚𝐥𝐥

🧡𝐒𝐮𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐞 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 

👍𝐒𝐮𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐞 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 𝐅𝐚𝐜𝐞𝐛𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐏𝐚𝐠𝐞 

📷 𝐒𝐮𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐞 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 𝐈𝐧𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐦

💜𝐈𝐥𝐥𝐮𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐭𝐞

👍 𝐈𝐥𝐥𝐮𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐅𝐚𝐜𝐞𝐛𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐏𝐚𝐠𝐞

📷 𝐈𝐥𝐥𝐮𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐈𝐧𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐦

👍𝐒𝐨𝐛𝐞𝐫 𝐖𝐢𝐭𝐜𝐡’𝐬 𝐁𝐚𝐳𝐚𝐚𝐚𝐫 𝐅𝐚𝐜𝐞𝐛𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐆𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐩

🚨𝐃𝐨𝐧’𝐭 𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐬 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐬𝐞 𝐚𝐝𝐝𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐜𝐞𝐬:

📲𝐈𝐥𝐥𝐮𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐭𝐞: 𝐒𝐨𝐛𝐞𝐫 𝐖𝐢𝐭𝐜𝐡 𝐀𝐩𝐩: 𝐴𝑉𝐴𝐼𝐿𝐴𝐵𝐿𝐸 𝐼𝑁 𝑇𝐻𝐸 𝐴𝑃𝑃 𝑆𝑇𝑂𝑅𝐸 𝐴𝑁𝐷 𝑃𝐿𝐴𝑌 𝑆𝑇𝑂𝑅𝐸 𝑇𝑂 𝐷𝑂𝑊𝑁𝐿𝑂𝐴𝐷

🔮𝐑𝐞𝐜𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲 𝐏𝐬𝐲𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐜 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠:

🔮𝐏𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐋𝐢𝐟𝐞 𝐒𝐨𝐮𝐥 𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐀𝐝𝐝𝐢𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧: 

🧑‍🎨𝐀𝐝𝐝𝐢𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐃𝐞𝐦𝐨𝐧 𝐏𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠