The Sober Witch Life: Sunshine’s Guide to a Mystical Recovery Podcast Season 2 Episode 23 Witchy Wisdom for a Sober Holiday Season: Grounding & Protection Tips

All right. All right. Hey everyone, my dear witches, welcome back to the sober witch life with me, Sunshine. This is your guide to a mystical and magical recovery. And I’m super excited that you’re here for another episode, because we are talking today about staying sober over the holidays. And, you know, I’m looking at kind of all my notes and everything, and going like, maybe I should have done this episode a couple of weeks ago, but, you know, better late than never, right? And as always, I’m going to start out with a little bit of story time I’ve got, you know, some of my notes down here, and, oh, you know, if you’ve been around long enough, you’re going to potentially maybe know or remember or recall, my sober birthday is October 9, right? So just a couple of days after my 40th birthday, I decided, you know, I was done drinking and, yeah, so we’re talking about right before the entire holiday season, because I believe that the holiday season starts pretty much with Halloween, right?

If we think about, oh my God, and I’m just, I’m pausing for a moment, because I’m going like, you goofball, yeah, I’m doing it again. For some of us, it’s, you know, drinking and that, like, excessive drinking throughout the holidays. For some of us, it’s, you know, maybe a workaholism, right? So I’ve done that before. I know folks in retail and restaurants are a lot subjected to it, a lot more it’s acceptable, and some is over indulgence and like food and things of that nature, which that’s kind of why I’m pausing and laughing at myself. Because, yeah, I think I’ve fallen a little bit into that, but thankfully, I’ve been hitting up the gym. But I digress. So, you know, I spent that first holiday season like, really smack dab, you know, less than 30 days after I decided to, you know, step into recovery, I hit the holidays. And that very first one Halloween, I remember, I’d spent it with some friends that, at the time, I thought, you know, I used to call part of my coven.

Looking back in retrospect, I was longing for community. It just they weren’t the right ones. But I went over and I dressed up by I dressed up as a main ad, which, you know, I’m not going to go into what? But, take a look at it. It’s kind of ironic, right? They’re known for like they’re drunk and debauchery. So I thought it was humorous. I can’t get drunk and debaucherous, so I will pretend like I am one, so to speak. And it was after Halloween when I started, you know, sitting around at the tables. Because I did 90 and 90 meetings and 90 days through aa that I started bringing up the anxiety around the holidays that I was starting to feel because the first holiday was coming up and it was Thanksgiving, and I really wasn’t looking forward. I have a strange relationship with my parents, and I really wasn’t looking for it. That’s who I’d always spent the holidays with. And on top of that, I think it was like maybe three or four days after Halloween, my memory is certainly fuzzy. My partner, at the time, proceeds to tell me that he’s going to go back home to New England for Thanksgiving, and so I’m in, like, a full-blown fucking panic, right? Like, because I don’t know what I’m going to do, right? Like, you’re leaving me alone. I’m, like, not even 90 days, you know, and you’re going to leave me alone over the holidays by myself. Like, we live just him and I in the house, you know, and some cats and yeah, and leave me alone to fend for myself with my parents, which is just an event on its own.

And I remember sitting at those tables and talking about it and so many of the old timers, you know, giving me this reminder that it’s one day at a time. Stop fast-forwarding to these days and these times that don’t exist yet, right? Be here in the present. And God, it was a lot easier said than done. You know, just because I was so raw, I was so new, anxiety was something that I had felt and experienced in my life, but not at this level, right? I mean, that’s the truth. A lot of people don’t realize that alcohol creates anxiety, right? So when we’re not drinking, it’s often. Days after, we’ll watch our anxiety levels, you know, rise. So, yeah, I was in pretty fucked up shape. And I mean, crying, and I’m arguing with my partner because I don’t want him to go, and I’m, you know, finding myself, you know, looking back, I’m pulling some manipulative, controlling tactics, you know, like really trying to pull on his heartstrings. But at the same point, you know, these folks at the tables were advising me not to stop doing this, like everything would be okay.

And we fast forward to Thanksgiving, my parents live about an hour away in a very conservative town, and so, I’m still trying to stay true to, true to, you know, my 90 meetings in 90 days. So I drove out, and I intended an AA meeting close to them and talk about a night and day experience, right? The community that I live in right now is pretty eclectic. We have a very strong blend, like I would almost say 5050, blend between Christian and Muslim, right? Most of the Christians be going to be heavily Catholic, with some Baptist and Presbyterian probably mixed into that. And you know, a few Lutheran, but yeah, I go out there and, you know, the meetings in a basement of a Catholic Church, which, you know, I’ve come to love Catholic churches, you know, but it’s a group of people that I’ve never met, you know. And I kind of done this once or twice at this point, walked into meetings where I didn’t know folks, but it was just weird. The air was different. The energetic in the space was different. I was different. Because I was, thankfully, you know, not too different. I mean, nowadays, if I walk in with my, you know, pink hair, I now have a shaved head, right? And tattoo. I might have dropped, seen some jaws drop, but, yeah, you know? And I made it. I made it through Thanksgiving. And, you know, I kind of white knuckled my way all the way through the holidays, right? And they were tough. They were difficult. And going back, I don’t know if I would have made it through those holidays if I hadn’t have been going to the 90 meetings in 90 days. I really don’t. And even my guides right now are shaking their head. They’re like, No, you wouldn’t have Right? Like, that was a really big deal. Um, it was, it just, it was, it was really tough. And so many emotions, so many fucking emotions, right?

And so you know, why am I sharing all of this with you? Is because holidays are meant to be magical, right? They are meant to be these very beautiful moments within our life where we are able to, you know, create memories, you know, do some reflection, but they can be so overwhelming for those of us that are in recovery, right? I even know a friend who’s been in recovery for, you know, seven years, I think, at this point, and we’ve had some conversations in the last couple of weeks of just how hard it is to go to some of these family gatherings, right? How hard even, even, even with all of the confidence of, you know, being and staying sober for so long, it’s still so difficult as witches in recovery, though, these unique challenges that we face right of being in recovery and having to face these holidays can be transformed by leaning in to our witchcraft, leaning into our practice, leaning into our spirituality, right? That’s kind of the beautiful thing about being a witch. We always have something up our sleeve, sometime very literally, sometimes very literally, that can help guide us and aid us in moments that are difficult. And I don’t think this is, you know, it’s interesting. My guides are planting this seed. I don’t think that’s any different than some other folks that have a strong spiritual faith, right? You know, our spirituality, though, includes things like ritual, spell casting, you know, using things from a protection ambulance, you know, tells anything of that nature.

So, you know, we have tools at our disposal to help us remain on the road to recovery and. So even if it’s a little difficult, right, the first thing that you’re going to want to do, my dear, is you’re going to want to try to understand your triggers. You may want to talk to someone about it. Just because I find often when we talk and communicate, more things will come out that we may not have been willing to like think just by ourselves, or even write them down, right? The very first thing to me that I realized is a trigger is the social events. The reality is I don’t really like most of them. I, you know, looking back all the way to when I was a child, I was forced to go and attend to a lot of social gatherings. My dad himself loved to drink and loved an excuse to drink and love to drink with company. Absolutely loved it. So, there’s this, I don’t know habit that we get as we get older, of like feeling obligated to go places, right? But you don’t have to as an adult, you really do not have to. So the very first thing that I would encourage you to do is to think about these events that you’re invited to, because there may be alcohol, it may be a challenge. Maybe, you know, for me, I just don’t like being around people when they consume alcohol. I personally can feel the energetic of addiction, and I can feel the level of like addiction that somebody has to alcohol, and so it amplifies when they’re actually consuming and it becomes very uncomfortable for me, very, very uncomfortable for me.

So I would encourage you just to to sit for a moment. And just imagine one of the events that you’re invited to. And I want you to just sit there and think about it. And I want you to think about going, Okay, I want you to think about how it feels and pay attention to just how does it feel in your body, right? To make your heart race. Did your throat tighten up a little bit? I know that it’s happening for me. I can even feel my muscles kind of constricted, right? And then I want you to go ahead and imagine not going. You’re already like the party is going on, and you’re at home, and you’re just not going. You know, you’re cozid up. Maybe it’s your kitties, your pup, maybe your partner, your kids, whatever it is, you’re just not going. You’re hanging out in your cozy PJs, it’s warm. How does that feel? How does it feel in your body? Do you feel lightness? Did you feel a shift in that right? If you felt a shift, you know, of lightness, of airiness, of more warmth and less restriction when you thought about not going, that could be your sign that you’re not meant to go right. So many of us continue to operate on obligation, on habit, right, you are the only one that gets to make a choice, and I will tell you my experience, you know, I got some hum ba humbugs type stuff. When I first started saying no to events, I got, you know, wise what? Why? Why not? Why don’t you want to come? And it’s like, because I don’t want to go. I mean, that’s the true reality of it. I didn’t want to go. It’s not comfortable for me. I don’t enjoy them, you know, and you know, there were a number of people that knew I was in, you know, had just stepped into recovery, and so I would just blatantly, I like, I don’t want to be around alcohol, right? If you do decide to go, right, let’s say you did feel that, though, and you still decide to go, I am going to strongly encourage you to up your protection in your grounding game, right? Find yourself one of the black stones, Black Tourmaline, onyx, or obsidian, right, as well as some amethyst, right?

Amethyst, a beautiful stone for recovery and for healing. Those two of them together should be really, really powerful. And then I would encourage you to toss a clear quartz in it to amplify. Clear quartz amplifies any of the energy around the stones or the crystals that we’re carrying or have with us, and carry them with you, if you can wear them, like on a bracelet, a necklace. You know, I know, back at that time, I used to keep one of those balls on a necklace that I could put those stones in that helped me a lot. Helped me a lot. I would shift, shift out various different ones. Is like a cage, right? You can open it up, and you could put some stones in it, do that, right? And then, before walking into wherever that event is, like, maybe when you’re still in your car, maybe when you’re walking up. Up just clearly proclaim, you know, ideally out loud, I’m protected. My energy is safe. No one can impact me, right? I am I am strong in my recovery. And then if you need it right, or maybe every time you know, yeah, the guys are actually saying no every time you use the restroom while you’re there, do some box breathing, just to bring yourself into a grounded, calm state. Box breathing is you count to four. Okay, so four breaths in, hold it for four. Exhale for four. Hold it for four and continue that. This is one of a couple of breaths that can really bring you into a calm state, right? The other one is the that I use very often as a 478, that’s probably one of my more favorite ones when I’m really, really anxious. That’s two a breath of four in, hold it for seven and exhale for eight, right? And when we go ahead and we take a longer exhale than the breath in, that’s part of what really calms and brings our nervous system down, right? Those, two things if you’re going to decide to continue to go out to these events and put yourself into situations that you may not want to be into, but let’s say the obligation is real. I know where this comes about is when you have children, and your children need to see the grandparents or the family or anything of that nature, 100% right? Though, I would tell you, if your children are anything like mine, they may appreciate a cancelation doing something fun at home instead, but you’re going to want to up your protection in your grounding game. Really, really big. The bigger thing, though, is to create an exit plan. You may get there and be there for an hour and realize you’re done. Maybe the uncle has had one too many you know, he started drinking two o’clock in the afternoon. He’s loud and boisterous, and you can’t handle it. Maybe there’s too many kids. Maybe there’s too much sound. I mean, for me, I’m very sound sensitive, so that’s where a lot of mine come in. I struggle at big parties and things like that because it’s too loud for me, right? It’s very overwhelming to my nervous system, right? You’re going to want to create a plan of what you’re going to do to be able to exit gracefully. Okay?

Hey guys, you know, thanks a bunch. Had a fabulous time. I appreciate you having me. I’ve gotta go. A very dear friend of mine is having a hard time this holiday, and I’m just gonna, you know, make sure that they’re okay. They don’t need to know that. Dear friends, you or you know, I really want to get on the road before it gets crazy out there, right? Whatever it may be, find some exit plan. If it’s 30 minutes, an hour, two hours, right? I don’t know about you, but there are some of the holiday parties in my family that can start at like three o’clock and go until like 11 or midnight. And I’m like, That is too much for me. That is too much, right? That’s one trigger. I really think a lot of these events, especially because so many of them are surrounded by alcohol. That’s one major trigger that I know for me was really tough. But there’s another one. I was about to say I don’t have as many challenges with it, but there are some things you know that the holidays bring up, from a memories and a nostalgia perspective, right, really strong emotions around it, this reflection when you know which I think is important on the holidays, but When it incorporates grief or sad memories or difficult memories. You know, maybe you had a childhood, and Christmas was tough. Maybe you, you know, were neglected and not taken care of right now. You know, I know my ex partner, that was how he felt, very much. The holidays every year were really hard for him, really hard for him. Maybe you’ve lost someone around the holidays, or maybe you’ve lost someone in the last year, and this is going to be the first holiday without them, right? This is big emotions, big fucking emotions. I’d encourage you to honor these emotions, allow the tears to fall, allow the grief to settle in, whichever emotion that comes with it, the anger, right, the acceptance, all of them don’t. From them instead, find lean in to the witch inside of you.

Create a little ritual to release some of them, you know, a burn and release, write down on a piece of paper what it is that you want to release and burn it in a candle, right? Let go of some of those lingering feelings. If you lost a loved one, find some other way, ritually speaking, to honor them in their memory. Maybe it’s going out and watching their favorite Christmas movie or checking out the lights, or, you know, cooking their favorite meal. Don’t run from it, though, those emotions have some healing properties behind them. And the reality with all of this is, don’t allow the holiday season to be the reason that your drinking demon gets the best of you, right? I’m pretty positive. I’ve talked about it on one of the podcasts before, but I’ll mention it again, right? I’ve literally seen my own energetic attachment that perpetuated my addiction. I’ve seen it on other people, right? It’s an energetic that exists that is constantly trying to remind you of all the false promises that drinking rains, oh, it won’t feel as bad, Oh, it’ll taste really good, oh, it’s just one drink, right? The things that I mentioned before can really help but at the end of the day, I’d also encourage you to attend some meetings, even if you’ve never been to an AA meeting or any other kind of recovery meeting, find one you don’t have to talk. Just say, Hey, I’m here to listen. I just need to be around folks that know what I’m going through. I’m just here to listen. Right? Join the recovery circle that I host every week, right? Find some sober friends to hang out with, or just a community to hang out with. I know I’ve had a couple of friends that really love some of the events that go on at the Al Anon clubs in the area. They are out there, if you take a look for it, as long as you don’t sit in the place of excuses, they are out there. And last but not least, absolutely remember it’s just one day at a time. All that matters, my dear friend, is that you not pick up a drink today. That’s it just for today. That being said, I’m going to close this with a little prayer, and I am going to pray for all of you that are listening to this and maybe struggling. I’m going to pray that the courage inside of you is so overwhelming and so powerful that you continue to stay on your road to recovery, you continue to face any of these challenging triggers or difficult situations, because you deserve the path forward that is filled with love, peace, hope, joy, prosperity, good health. I’m going to pray that that courage comes for you every single day, that being said, My dear friends, much love. I mean all of you.