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Witch Please! Sunshine’s Guide to the MysticaL Season 2[EP.2] Communities or Covens: The Complex Dynamics of Belonging

In this enlightened episode of “Witch Please! Sunshine’s Guide to the Mystical” we delve into the true essence of belonging. Our host breaks down the formal definitions, then layers on personal insights to explore what makes a gathering more than just a group, but a true community. Do you find yourself questioning your place within the groups you frequent? Through tales of weekly networking events to the structured dynamics of a coven, we confront the challenges of formality, exclusivity, and the critical feeling of fellowship. Tune in to discover where true belonging lies and whether your tribe might actually be waiting for you in the least expected places. Join us, and let’s unravel the magic of community together. 🌟

Sunshine – The pink-haired psychic medium:

 
Hey, everyone. Happy Friday! I’m recording this here on a Friday. And we are in season two, episode two, which is kind of mind blowing to me, because we’re in the middle of February, we started this season, the beginning of January. And yeah, that just goes to show you how incredibly crazy busy. I’ve been for the last, you know, couple of weeks, I have only been able to record. This is my second podcast this year. And, of course, because of that, we’re gonna start with a little bit of story time.
 
I had a really great episode that was planned for last week. I was pretty excited for it. I was in Chicago with some friends. Very magical, amazing friends and fellow witches. And we have a new moon that we were preparing for. We had a ritual plan for that night. And I was going to talk about today’s topic. Yeah, I was gonna have some guests on. So I was stoked. I had all the equipment. I brought it with me, right from Detroit, all the way up to Chicago. And, you know, the universe had other plans in mind. They certainly did. There was actually a medical emergency rituals canceled. And the podcast, frankly, was the last thing that was on my mind. And, I’m very lucky that medical emergency, I’m okay. My friend is okay. The emergency was with them. But yeah, it was like a total, like what in the world just got thrown our way.
 
Last week’s topic that I was going to talk about- pretty important. And so even though I don’t have any friends with me today, I’ll have that whole crew plan that and all that whole setup, we’re still going to talk about it. And today, we are talking about Community and Covens for that matter. And as always, let’s just go ahead and level set and make sure that we are coming at this from the same place. And I looked at the formal definition. So the formal definition of a community is a feeling of fellowship with others, as a result of sharing common attitudes, interests, and goals. Okay, which is pretty cool.
 
I would say if I were to define that myself, it’s going to be very similar. I think the only thing that I would add to that is your, like, emphasize is that feeling of fellowship, like you truly feel as though you belong. And so, I’ll give you an example. If you keep showing up to this weekly, like networking event, and you just really never feel like that’s your tribe, so to speak. It’s probably not a community, they probably don’t do a really good job of that belongingness and making people feel welcomed and like they have a place now, the formal definition of a coven is a group or gathering of witches who meet regularly. So you could consider a coven a community of witches, right? But we got to go back to that whole thing. Like, do you actually feel as though you belong. And that’s really where we talk about my challenge with the formality that often accompanies the coven. It can lead to power struggles, it can lead to misunderstandings, it can even lead to resentment. Because when humans gather, there’s always the possibility for egos to get in the way and cried and hurt and all that kind of good stuff. And I’m saying in a community, you’re not going to experience that. Excuse me, but I believe and this has been my experience. I’ve talked to a number of folks that identifies which is, and many of us, many of us have a bad taste about common often because of the power struggle that, you know, kind of happens within it. And so there’s this piece of me that feels like when you talk just about community, its focus is more so on that belongingness that feeling of belongingness versus a coven is focused on the formality. That is kind of defined for it. And yes, I’ve been in a coven. It’s been a number of years. And yes, it left that bad taste in my mouth. I’ll just share with you I was super gung ho I really loved it I thought you know originally these these women were very dear and sweet. And they had expressed a lot of interest in doing more gathering more you know, putting things together and so me as the you know, Saturn in Virgo that I am
plan the shit out of it.
 
And from a planning perspective, I’m never one sided, I gather feedback, you know, what do you think? How would you like it? Here’s an idea what what if we did this. And like long story short, the this group of women had been together since they were friends since they were children. And I was sat down after probably I’ve been involved with them for like two years, maybe even a little bit longer. And I sat down with them. After like months of like formal ritual and like leading weekly events, and organizing weekly events for us through the pandemic and everything. I sat down with them on a Monday night. And four of them proceeded to explain to me that they were no longer comfortable with the direction that the coven was going. I mean, just all of this stuff. Like they spoke behind my back together about how to approach this conversation with me. And I was just like, I was really shocked, I was really floored. I was caught off guard, and it was just gross. To me. It was really gross. And so I went okay, cool. And, you know, basically parted ways with every single one of them, except the one that introduced me that I’ve been friends with for a while.
 
So yeah, it left a really bad taste in my mouth. And I know they get together every now and again still, but I still would have a really hard time calling them a coven.
Just because they don’t do it based on that definitely regularly. Which gets into- Why am I sharing all of this with you? Why does this matter? Why would you care about it? And so number one, I believe that community is incredibly important on our on our journey. Yes, many of us, you know, who identify as witches, maybe solo practitioners, right? We may truly be our own eclectic drum, we may choose our own kind of like things and flavors. But a community is important, just as a human being. Human beings are hardwired, with a desire to connect. If you think about it, from literally the moment we are born, we are reliant upon our connection with our you know, our mother or father, you know, both, hopefully, but we’re really relying upon a connection with a another human being in order to not just survive, but to thrive. If we’re hardwired for it, research will literally show that solitude and isolation can lead to depression and other forms of illness.
 
For any of you that may be walking a path of recovery, or you know, contemplating like whether or not you are suffering from any type of addiction, I will tell you, one of the primary signs of it is going to be isolation, if you find yourself Self, by yourself more often uncomfortable around people, and even like hesitating to connect.
It’s usually very often because we have shame about who we are, and therefore don’t want to take our mask off and be vulnerable with other people. But it’s important to us as human beings and really is important to us in order for for our own mental spiritual, and I would even say physical health. I would even say physical health. It’s important to us as spiritual beings. I may not sit down with a lot of mentors, so to speak, or a lot of other spiritual gurus or things of that nature that I’m directly learning from, I read a lot of books, I do a lot of research, I sit, have a lot of conversations with the divine, and get a lot of my inspiration that way. But I love to lead and I love to teach I love to, to mentor and share all of the knowledge and the things that then I’m given. 
I see this from that perspective that so many of us really evolve in our spirituality through community by leaning on other people to explore and to see and discovered, you know, and even if we’re talking about a book. Let’s be real, the moment you pick up the pages of a book from that from another author that is written, you are part of their community. It might not be in the literal physical plane, but it is in that theoretic plane, you’ve connected with other individuals. If you go ahead and we’re walking down the street and saw somebody else standing there with that same book in their arm, you can easily strike up a conversation. So our spiritual journey is very much in retuned by community around us.
 
I want you to know that. I want you to understand that, and I really want you to think about that. Do you have a community that you can lean into? One of the dear friends that was part of my community that was going to be out last week, she lives hours away. She’s four and a half hours away in Chicago. And you know, she often says and expresses how she wishes we were much closer because she feels as though she doesn’t have that kind of community there at home. And so, it’s lovely and amazing to be able to gather in person but I, as the introvert that I am, as the empath that I am, I love me some virtual community. I really do. I love being able to be in my PJs and my warm, snuggly old home and, you know, sit down and join whoever it is online, virtually maybe even in the Facebook group, maybe it’s directly on a Zoom. Anything of that nature. Maybe it’s even just even through my email sometimes. But I love that as an opportunity.
 
Yes, I love in-person. And I’m going to be doing much, much more of that here in the coming months. But yeah, you know, communities incredibly important, just to us as human beings and as spiritual beings. The other reason why I’m sharing this, though, is because you may be interested in finding a coven. You may be thinking to yourself, “hey, I really would love to gather with other witches.” And that’s cool. That is awesome. I really adore that. I would also say I love that, like I love leading that. Whether or not I would ever refer to anything that I do as a coven. I don’t know, I’m still sitting and thinking with that one. But I do want to share with you a couple of suggestions. If you are interested in going down that path and finding a common discovering a coven, or anything of that nature. Number one, make sure you understand why you want to be a part of one. Maybe you think it’s the only way for you to like really enrich your own gifts and your own skills.
 
As a witch, well, it’s not the case. You can definitely find plenty of groups and communities and things like that, check out MeetUp, check up Eventbrite, check up Facebook, go to local metaphysical stores, you can find just community that can give you the exact same type of thing. You may want to leave one, you may be sitting there maybe in you know similar boat, like my shoes where you love to be this for like the ferocious just like consumer of information and you’re like, “I could do this, I could lead one, I could pull these witches together.” And that’s cool, right? You may also find that you need some more formality or some more accountability. So make sure you understand why you want to be a part of a coven. And then do your research on any of them that you come across. In retrospect, if I probably would have done some of this. In the past, I might have avoided some of the situation that I found myself in. Talk to individuals one on one in the group, by themselves. Ask them what their experiences how long they’ve been part of it? Do they enjoy it? How do they find like the leadership anything that you may find important? Like any of those wise, talk to them about it, see what their wives are asked to participate in any type of open ritual or programming or anything of it, any type of events that they’re kind of doing? My personal thing is like if you’re just if everybody just identifies as witches, and all you do is like get together for coffee. Don’t know, is that really that common? Or is that like a coffee? I don’t know. I mean, I guess it’s up to you to decide. 
 
I do think that if you truly are interested in becoming a part of a coven, one of the reasons why is because you’re probably trying to do magic together. So ask to participate in one of the events that they have. And then really, really, really, really listen to your intuition and whether or not it’s aligned for you. And I say that because there are going to be some comments that you stumble across that are going to be ruled by the ego meaning there is one individual that is in a position of power. And I’ve literally wrote the note in here like if you get any “I art better than though” vibes Right? Like so there may be some covenants, Some groups even, maybe they don’t even call themselves a coven, but they’re a community and they are truly being ruled by a sense of power, right my personal belief from a community is there is not one individual in power. There may be one person leading but leadership does not equate power. Leadership sure as hell does not equate power over. So you’re gonna want to stay away from any of them that are kind of like ruled by ego because a coven can turn into a fucking cult. It 100% can. Any group of individual if power is included in the dynamics does run the risk of turning into a cult, and especially, especially if you are talking about a group or a community that is built upon any type of spiritual beliefs, right? So yeah, I don’t know about you, but I’ve watched a shit ton of those Netflix documentaries over the last two years about a lot of them that’s kind of come out.
 
So that’s why I’m sharing that with you. For any of you that are listening here, maybe you have not stumbled across I do manage a Facebook community and would love love, love love very much. So if you are interested to go ahead and reach out to me, we are looking to enrich in that and you know, add some bring some more stuff into it both from a virtual and in person perspective, over the coming of this, you know, 2020 for a year so, yeah, if you have an interest just drop an email, find this, you know, in any of the social platforms, but I love to connect, it’s something that I love to do is connect people and to build community.
 
That being said, it is Friday here, my dear friends, I don’t know when you’re listening to this, but Friday, I just want you to stop and pause for a moment and just
ah, take a deep breath in and exhale out and just find some gratitude for all the people in your life that you’ve ever considered community. So with that, my dear friends I hope you have an absolutely beautiful rest of your day and much love for me. Love you. Until next time.

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