Sunshine – The pink-haired psychic medium:
Alright. It is all setting up. So I love this. I literally fire up Zoom. You’re seeing me. I’m on Zoom right now, and I connect it directly into YouTube to be able to do these live every single week. So I hope that you guys are excited, as excited for as I am, I guess for this week’s episode of Witch Please!
Welcome back everyone! We are on episode nine and tonight. We’re talking about something that’s a little bit personal and I’m actually finding it kind of ironic that it’s episode nine, because of the personal reason. Tonight, or today we’re gonna be talking about a witch in recovery, and we are just a couple of days away to October 9th. You know, I’m recording this a couple of days before, but I believe this will be released and published we’ll get it processed on October 9th. This is the ninth episode. And the reason why I say it’s kind of ironic that we’re talking about a witch in recovery, because October 9th is my my sober anniversary. Almost four years ago, I hit my rock bottom and made the decision to let go of alcohol in my life. Um, so we’re gonna be talking a little bit about this today about a witch in recovery.
And as usual, I always wanna start and let you guys know what I mean. We’re gonna talk about the definition first of recovery. So what do I even mean by recovery? And so I looked up and I should start taking note of what dictionary it references, but I did look up the definition and so the noun, because recovery is, is also not a noun. I think it’s a verb also. And the official definition of recovery as a noun is a return to a normal state of health, mind or strength.
And I kind of laughed when I read that ’cause I was like, what’s normal? What do we mean by normal? But then I sat there and I thought about how would I define recovery when I am talking about recovery, when I’m discussing it in today’s podcast, when you maybe hear me talking about it on another podcast, or wherever you may find me.
What do I need? And I thought about this for a while this morning as I was taking down some of my notes for today’s episode. And to me, this is an awakening to the path our soul was originally set forth on. So they say it’s a return to a normal state of health, minor strength. And I really look at recovery as us returning to. Returning to this path that our soul had set forth on, right?
So, we need to awaken to the fact that our soul is here for a journey. Our souls are on a life’s long journey, lives long journey, multiple lives. Each lifetime has a very distinctive purpose in our path to enlightenment, our path to what we’re ultimately here to do in this universal space.
Maybe it’s another topic, another time of what that purpose of life is. But, we are born in every incarnation into our own humanity again. And when that happens, our, like that humanness like we, we, we become this etheric divine being, right? When we kind of like cross over when our soul is just sitting in that, the ether, right?
And then we connect into our physical human form and we’re, you know, born a human. And our humanness, that pure humanness of us is often a distraction from our path, right? We become, we come in. It’s not like we come in as 40 year olds, 44 year olds, right? We literally come in as these little tiny beings that are completely reliant upon others to help shape and mold us as we continue forward, kind of like in this particular lifetime.
And so it’s just not all, not all of us have the best of upbringings, it’s not until we’re adults that we realize, we are fortunate enough to kind of become awoke to something beyond our measly human existence.
And so like as we venture down our paths in life from a little baby to a toddler, to all of these lessons. They’re all of these lessons that we begin to learn throughout life. And sometimes these lessons can cause us to become addicted to not evolving, to like literally just staying stuck in this “everything happens to me” type of state, right? We get stuck in the machine, we get stuck in the matrix.
We literally get stuck in this place. We’re like addicted to this thought that all of these things are happening to us rather than for us, or even better yet with us. Literally stuck in the matrix. Which begs the question, how do you recognize that maybe you’re stuck in the matrix?
What are some things that a witch might need to actually recover from? And if you followed my story, right now I have been active in active recovery from alcoholism. I am a recovering alcoholic. There’s all sorts of other addictions that I have. And as I’m approaching year four, really looking at some of these other vices and asking myself whether or not they are causing me suffering in life.
Because the way I describe it, my part of my third step prayer in my own recovery includes starting to pray for those that are suffering from, from addiction. And I state that addiction can be from drugs, alcohol, sex, chaos, violence, drama, shopping, food, sugar, whatever, is robbing these individuals from living their best possible life, from living in their highest vibrational state, from living their lives purpose, freeing them from whatever it may it may be.
And so I think often when people are considering addiction or the need to recover or step into recovery, they’re thinking about alcohol, right? Which is alcoholism is a very prevalent disease, I think in a lot of different cultures, but I know here in the United States, we glamorize excessive drinking like you wouldn’t believe.
We also know that there are drugs. There are literally drugs that are killing people out there. They’re so addicted that they will literally continue to take this drug or this narcotic, you know, the heroin, the opioid, all of them, they will continue to take these knowing the risks because they’re addicted to kind of that suffering.
This, they’re addicted to like, they’re stuck in the f*****g matrix, right? I think a lot of people think of those, but there are other things that are robbing folks from living their life’s purpose, being in their highest vibrational state. And I’m gonna talk about a couple of these. Because folks that talk to me they know about these, I talk about it, I share, I’m not blind to ’em. One of the biggest, and you know, it’d be hard to really differentiate these two terms. People that are addicted to the drama or the chaos, they literally love a high dramatic life.
Here’s the thing. If you are bitching about the drama in your life, and you do that more than once, you literally bitch to a friend, a family member, whoever, about like, “oh my God, here it is another day. Nothing goes right for me. ” Or like, you are a fucking addicted to it because you, my dear friend, have the ability to change very often how much a drama is within your life. I’m not gonna lie. Drama and chaos. People have a really hard time with those ones. Because it seems as though often it’s happening to us.
The drama is just surrounding us. It’s just around us when most folks once again, stuck in the matrix and don’t realize they have the ability to step out of it, don’t realize they have the ability to recover from a drama or a chaos filled life, and drama and chaos robs us. It does. It distracts us. It overwhelms us. It takes more energy than it needs. Don’t get me wrong, I love myself. I love a good drama on tv. I love a good drama in the movies, right? But that is 30 minutes or an hour and a half that I am literally understanding what I’m getting into and when it’s done and over. But if you are looking for that excitement, people are like, “oh, my life is so boring.” You might also be complaining that, that’s probably because you’re addicted and for some odd reason you haven’t had your fix of that chaos or drama.
Another one is food. This is one that I’m reflecting upon a lot lately. I’ve done a lot of my own recovery around my food, my eating habits. Those that are watching this on video, I don’t think it’s a secret that I’m a very large and in charge witch. I love it because it, in my past, being a fat, chubby, obese, whatever the term BBW: Big Beautiful woman.
And so I reclaimed that and called a Badass Beautiful Witch, you know, you can actually do it that way too. But yeah, food and sugar. I think sugar is probably the culprit in this, not necessarily the food. And it’s something I’ve watched and I’ve monitored myself for a very, very long time.
And there’s all sorts. There’s a lot of complexities that rely upon that. But so many of us, throughout our lifetimes have turned to food in order to influence our own emotional states. And that can be as simple as enjoying a cup of coffee because you need to pick me up in the afternoon or pulling out that pint of ice cream because your day was really rough and difficult, and that dopamine hit at the end of the night is gonna make you feel really good and be able to fall asleep.
Food can be something that we’re addicted to. And that one is a tough one because there’s often a lot that’s tied to it. And I’ve worked with some clients, I’ve done my own work, and so that is complex and that recovery may require other things. And I’ll tell you this, this thing too, and this is something I remember talking with my therapist a lot about, and the reason why the recovery around any type of food related addiction becomes more difficult is because a lot of things that we are addicted to, we don’t need to survive.
I don’t need alcohol to survive. I don’t need drugs to survive. I don’t need drama. I don’t need chaos. I don’t need a lot of, but I need food, it is literally a requirement to have substance in order for me to continue to live. So it’s has a lot more complexities to it. Here’s another one that some people might have a little bit of.
I’ll probably actually go even longer than 20 minutes today. I’m guessing we might actually be up to half an hour with this topic. So we’ll see. We become addicted to not treating or not respecting our own boundaries. Like, we literally get addicted. My belief is, we become addicted to allowing ourselves to be abused. We become addicted to this feeling of “poor me” that we become addicted to being a victim.
And there are some things that this is how this will show up. Like it doesn’t show like we we’re never gonna like realize it, but I’m gonna tell you a couple of ways that this can show up for you. One of those ways is through any type of like poor sex habits. So we find ourselves, you know, I have no problem with promiscuity. I have no problem with a high libido. I have no problem with a very active sex life. I don’t even have a problem with multiple partners.
But if you don’t feel good about that, if you have poor sex habits, that can be a sign of not having those really good boundaries in place to be addicted, to be being that victim. Poor sex habits. It can also be like finding yourself always giving money, being the one that pays, being the one that gives being, being the giver. You become addicted and once again, the victim, “oh, everyone’s always here with a handout, but when I need a hand” right?
We become like addicted, it’s like in that borderline, that chaos and that drama. But it’s a little bit of a different flavor because we may not tell other people that chaos and drama requires other people to interact with us. But this one, this addiction to being the victim does not. Some other people might see this flavor and this being addicted to being that people pleaser.
And when I say addiction in this, I’m not asking you to, there’s no shame or judgment on this. This is just a true statement. We’re like addicted to being in the matrix. We’re addicted to the blinders on us. We’re so used to it, and we’ve never quite stopped or had something shake us to look outside. So there’s a lot of things that you might possibly be in recovery from or even be like going, “oh s**t, I should be right now.”
So lemme talk to you a little bit about what recovery has been like for me. As I said, it’s been almost four years. And if I really have to claim, it’s probably even been almost five years, because I started down this path and had relapsed a couple of times in that year before I hit my final rock bottom. It’s been a lot of fucking shadow work. I mean, all day, every day.
And I’ve told some of my clients recently, that does not end when we’re in recovery. We’re ultimately accepting that we have a life of shadow work ahead of us, that it’s a part and a component of our healthy life. And this is why, to me, a witch, when you are truly stepping in and embracing the title, the claim of the witch, the likelihood that you are on the road of recovery to something is so high. I would love to hear a witch out there that truly has embraced their life as a witch that can claim that they aren’t recovering from something.
I would love it. Any one of you that are listening or you know, someone, please tell me. Because you could also be covering, recovering from a life of abuse. Maybe you’re not like making yourself, maybe somebody else has made you that victim. And you are literally trying to get out of that. So it’s been a lot of fucking shadow work in the very beginning.
Those first 90 days, I don’t think a single day in the first 90 days there was a day that I didn’t cry. The first six months was probably a good tear fest at least once a week, if not two or three times a week. So it was intense. There was all of these intense emotions because I realized up until that point, I had not allowed myself to feel, I didn’t allow myself to really experience the awesomeness of being a human, because I was trying to avoid all of the shitty feelings.
I didn’t even get to experience the really amazing feelings, so it was all intense. Everything was intense and throughout the entire time, there have been this variation of emotional outbursts. I realized that I had to learn, relearn. I guess maybe I learn for the first time, if I have to really be honest with you on this one, how to relate to myself, right?
How do I feel? What am I thinking? What is this? Where am I? Who am I, what do I wanna be? I had to learn so much about who I was and then other people, the people that I wanted to be involved with, the people that I wanted to be connected to, the type of person that really aligned with me. I had to learn so much, and I have learned so much, right?
And through all of this, I’ve become so much more in tuned with my humanness. So it’s like I’m recovering from not being human because I’m like, I really wasn’t treating myself like a human. I wasn’t being okay with making mistakes. I wasn’t okay with loving and connecting to people.
So recovery has been a lot of shadow work, a lot of learning, and a lot of realignment into like this path that I’m really meant to be on. Which can bang you the question as usual, towards the end of these little chats that we have together. Why am I sharing all of this with you? Well, my recovery is a huge part of why I do this work.
I was in recovery and that led me down the path of starting this. But more importantly, on that note, being in recovery means I need to keep sharing this story. I need to keep talking about it. I need to keep expressing it. I need to keep reliving it and knowing why I am on this path. Because my humanness means it’s easy to forget, and then so many of us in life are out there unnecessarily suffering because we are stuck in the matrix.
We’re stuck in the matrix. We’re stuck in this machine. We’re stuck in this, this prescribed notion that somebody else gave to us of what life should be like? So you’re not alone on these feelings. Just wondering this curiosity, you’re not alone.
And so if there are things that have been in your head lately that have been rumbling around, like, you have a desire for change, “I want something different.” Maybe you want a whole new life. Maybe you’re getting these feelings of wanting to run away, right? And you just know, you know, deep down you want something different. There can be something different. There’s something else that is out there for you. And you’re probably being called to recover.
You are probably being called into recovery. You’re probably being called into recovery. You are being awakened to step onto this path that your soul is actually meant to be on. That’s why I’m sharing this with you. You’re not alone. You’re not on this journey alone.
You are being called to awaken to something that is different, that is meant there to be embraced, and just integrated into who you are. It’s not an easy path. I’m gonna tell you that right now as I said, I relapsed multiple times before I truly accepted the path. Accepted that there was a drastically different way until I was ready to let go of the thing that had been robbing me the most.
And that was the alcohol for me. So I’m curious, what is it for you? What do you believe is robbing you the most right now? And are you ready to step into your recovery? If you are, I’d love it if you’d reach out. I would love to be able to help. There’s some things that I’ve gotten to in the works right now that’ll be introduced into the world in a different way by this time next year. If you are on that path, I’d love it if you’d reach out.
Until next time, keep your fucking chin up, man. I know if sometimes things can get really hard, I can feel as though everything is just raining down on you. These are just moments, they will pass. Life will change. And depending upon how you want it to change, it’ll change for the better. Or, you know, if you really enjoy being stuck in the matrix, maybe it’ll change for the worst, who knows?
But I don’t hang out in the Matrix a lot nowadays. So, that’s not the story that I choose to live. So until next time, all of my dear friends! Much love from me, to all of you. Take care.
