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The Seven Phases of Healing Yourself

Healing is a big buzzword right now. 

It seems like almost everyone is selling some sort of healing. I totally get it; we’ve been through some pretty fucked up times lately as a collective. And I have no doubt that most of us have our own trauma and wounds under the surface.

But what is healing reeeeaaalllllyyy?

Here’s my take: Healing isn’t just a concept to be thrown around and used to sell stuff. It’s a deep and authentic act of commitment to yourself. It’s something that you actively choose and then actively participate in.

And it’s definitely not easy. Choosing it might feel simple, but sticking through with that commitment can get murky and dark and hard.

So, what can you expect when you take the leap into a healing journey? How do you even get started, and how do you even know what to commit to?

Let’s walk through the phases of healing and discuss just what you can expect.

Phase 1: CLARITY

The first thing to do is to decide what you’re seeking to heal. You might think that you already know, but when we’re deep in different types of shit, there are usually many layers and loads of little trickster freaks that will pop up to confuse us. 

Pull out what you think you want to heal. Take a good look at it. And then ask yourself some questions:

How is this impacting you? 

How is it creating a barrier to what you truly desire?

What even is it that you truly desire?

After you’ve come up with the first answers to each of these questions — you know, the sentences that pop straight into your head — go back through them. 

This time, spend several minutes thinking through each one. Is there a layer deeper? Is this the true answer, or is there something else under the surface that could be a truer answer to the question?

Journaling is fabulous for this. Write until you feel like you’ve reached your solid answers.


Now that you know where you are and what you want to heal, you can think about where you want to end up. 

What is the end result that you want from this healing journey? What will your life look like after? How do you feel at the end of this journey?

As you work these questions (again, journaling is fab-u-lous), get as specific as you can. This is the really fun part! Let your imagination play, and let yourself sit with this future version of your life.

Can you feel it? Can you see it crisply and clearly in your mind’s eye?

I love a good daydream. Take a little vacation into your imagination with this phase.

Phase 3: ACTION

Now we’re really getting going, because it’s time to plan some shit. 

Here’s what to ask yourself: 

How will you bridge the gap between where you are (check your notes from Phase 1) and where you want to be (hello dreams from Phase 2!)? 

Try writing a list for this one. What are some actions that you can take? Make those actions tangible and break them down to itty-bitty steps. 

Let’s say that one action is to clean and organize your space. Awesome. Now, what are the baby steps to that? Maybe one step is to decide what order you want to take in tackling areas: bookcase, then cupboard, then coat rack. (You get the idea!)

Next, get real about how you’re going to take the action. Create a to-do list or block off time in  your calendar. 

Then….just START.


Not a single one of us humans is perfect. At some point, we’re all going to lose steam on things that we once had motivation for. So, a crucial step in your healing journey is to recognize and then plan for those pitfalls.

Think of it this way: it probably took years and tons of experiences and many people to create the current circumstance that you want to heal. It’s going to take the same to transmute it.

Here are some things to consider: Who will you share your healing journey with? Who will bolster you and cheer you on and give you the shitty truth when you need to hear it? 

Then be honest with yourself about what could come up that might knock your grit right out of you. Write it all down, friend. We can’t do anything about it unless we look at it.


My badass, Wise Wench friend Tabitha says: “The same brain that created and repeats the fuckery can’t fix the fuckery.”

That’s poetry, really. And it’s the damn truth.

You’re going to need to add in some new stuff if you want to change the old stuff. If you just eliminate that old, unneeded stuff, then you’ll be left with a vacuum…and that’s when other shitty things can sneak in.

So, let’s think about what we’re adding before we subtract. We’re creating something new here — that sparkly life that you imagined a few phases ago — and crafters need supplies.

What resources will you need to make your actions happen? What tools and people will contribute to your success? Make a list.

Phase 6: SUPPORT

Sometimes, we need help. Those who keep us accountable aren’t always the same ones who can support our changes. 

As you expand into your gifts and your power and your soul’s truth in this lifetime, find those who can give you the foundation for that growth. 

What gifts can you borrow from others? What types of healers can perform the things that you can’t? 

This might feel like an overwhelming question to answer, so here are some practices to consider: Reiki, Ritual, Psychic Healing, Coaching, etc.

We all have our own, unique gifts and zones of genius. Finding a community with a little splash of everything can help to guide you toward whichever type of support is best for you. 

This is the very reason that I created my membership, Illuminate. It’s crafted to be the support for anyone on a healing journey, and it’s designed to introduce members to several different types of healing practices. (Click here to learn more.)


You wanted change, and change you will get! 

Healing requires that things shift. Your relationships might change. You might start to get clearer messages from the Universe. Things around you will wiggle and bend and mold to fit your new state of healing. 

You might start to feel a bit unsteady as things move around you, which is exactly why you’ve done the work of all the previous phases before getting to this point.

With the clarity, direction, action, accountability, resources, and support that you’ve put into place, you’ve already built yourself a solid foundation. 

So, when things shake, you’ll be sturdy. And you’ll already know exactly where you’re headed.

It’s easier to jump into the abyss when you know where it leads. 

It is my deepest wish that your healing journey is fruitful and as seamless as possible. As someone who has been on more than a few gnarly healing journeys, I completely understand the need to approach healing in a clear, planned way.


Our Shadows are those are those dank, dirty, mischievous things that we’re working to brush out the door during a healing journey. And, if we haven’t looked straight at them (Clarity Phase), then they can sneak up and create little shit storms.

There will sometimes come this ill-fitting point during your integration when things start to feel sort of…wrong. And it’s a totally normal part of the whole healing process.

You see, when we don’t approach healing from a sturdy place, we can fall victim to some real Shadow Fuckery. 

It’s like we reach this floating place: we’re not where we were, but we’re not quite where we want to be yet. Our foundation gets a bit out of reach as we suspend in the in-between. 

And, sometimes, even if we’ve built the sturdiest foundation that we can, Shadows will still sneak out.

That’s why the foundation needs to be sorted and the destination needs to be clear before you leap onto the healing path.

And if you reach this Shadow Fuckery bonus phase, don’t lose hope. It happens to the best of us…and it’s when support and community are needed the most.

So if you’re ready to heal an aspect of yourself or your life…

…and if you’re in need of accountability, resources, and support…

…I invite you to Illuminate. 

Through mentorship, coaching, live sessions, and a loving community, your healing gifts will bloom. Sign up now to get the limited-time introductory price by clicking here.

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