I think I have sat here and thought about how to start this for about 20 minutes now. And it’s not that I don’t think what I have to say is important but it’s almost as though it’s so important I don’t want to fuck this up. I am hoping to share with you why it’s so important for us to really love the lessons from our past regardless of how fucked-up they were.
And of course, this means I’ve got to be real fucking honest that some of our pasts are going to have some really horrific stories in them. Events. People. Situations. Trauma. Heartache. Bouts of depression or anxiety. Losses. I mean life is filled with all sorts of moments that involve tears and hurt and sorrow. So why in the world would I ever say that we need to love all these???
Simple. Life is a journey. One of the biggest (if not THE only) purposes of that journey is to BE in the moment. So we are best served in our today when we can look at our past lovingly with curiosity instead of judgment. Let me explain the difference…
Looking at our past with judgment:
- My brother treated me in a way many people would consider unkind and sometimes cruel. If I look at my past and place judgment on how I was treated then I am now risking the chance that I will have an emotional response to that judgment. Get caught in low vibrational frequency due to guilt or shame. Or worse, get caught in a pattern of resentment which is a slippery slope that can often lead to addiction.
Looking at our past with curiosity:
- I wonder why my brother treated me the way that he did? Did he have things in his life that were hurting him? Is there anything that I could have done differently? What would I do if I saw myself being treated that way today?
Why is this reframe so impactful??? That’s because every single thing that we’ve experienced has an opportunity to teach us. Sometimes we learn about ourselves. Sometimes we learn about others. And when we focus on what we learn in the experience our subconscious is accepting that it is in the past and can be left there. ← this means that we will have tremendously less emotional responses to something that we literally cannot control (THE PAST!).
Does that make sense? I mean I tried to really think this one through. Maybe it’d be better served as a topic to do live? Drop me a line and let me know.